My friends are wonderful. Each of them has at least one wonderful trait of which I am sometimes very jealous. It always is something that makes them very much who they are, and I wish that Fez could be a little more like them sometimes.
I wish that I were as rich as Jackie. There are so many things out in the world to enjoy, and all of them end up costing money. Whether it is beer or candy or pornography or even a little of someone's stash... or candy... everything must be paid for. Plus, I have much firsthand experience that many girls act like complete whores around men with money, like the girl at that wedding.
I wish that I were as strong as Hyde. It may be hard to understand, but in high school, many people were not kind to Fez. I saw the inside of many lockers and hobbled my way around after many wedgies. Hyde would not allow such things. Hyde would either get into a fight and beat the hell out of those stupid football players or he would insult them so badly they would go home crying. And, girls love strong men who can protect them or hurt other people for them.
I wish that I were as handsome as Kelso. Well, who wouldn't be? Have you seen the man? He's an adonis.
I wish that I were as passionate as Donna. When Donna believes in a cause, she is feisty and brave and committed. I would like to be as good a believer as she is, and in the same causes. I believe that women should be free to act as equally loose and sex-obsessed as men. I believe that they should burn their bras and always let the boobs run free. I would also like to nominate Hugh Hefner for President.
No, I got nothing.