The day begins early in the morning. It is not general knowledge, but Fez has been known to do some calisthenics right after waking up, so as to begin the day properly. Mostly, this is so Fez maintains the foxy figure that drives the ladies mad. Do you really think it is easy wearing pants this tight? I'd like to see someone with a big fat or tiny skinny ass get into these Vidal Sassoons.
Then, I have breakfast and entertainment. This will consist of sitting on the couch in Eric's basement to watch cartoons for most of the morning, with a huge bowl of Captain Crunch cereal, topped with sugar and Tollhouse chocolate chips. Hopefully, there will be "Underdog" and "Scooby-Doo", but there must at least be "Superfriends".
Then, I will return to my apartment and my room to dress and prepare. I will take out my very best mustard-brown polyester suit, or perhaps my aqua-green one, the patterned shirt with the longest collar tips I have, and the widest tie I can find. My hair will no doubt take at least an hour to finish, including hair dryer time.
With all that sugar in my system and properly presentable, I will be prepared for the most important moment of my life. Mr. Red and Miss Kitty will drive us all to Milwaukee to go to the State Courthouse. There, your beloved Fez will be sworn in as a naturalized Citizen of the United States.
Eric, Donna, Hyde, Jackie, Kelso and whoever else wants to come that is attractive, young or my friend will then celebrate with a fancy dinner at a fancy French restaurant. We will eat like kings, or like Bob. We will drink like Miss Kitty. And maybe we will even dine n' dash.
Then, we will all go to the disco to celebrate. I will impress everyone with my sexy dance moves, and they will all say, "Travolta who?" Then, I will choose two ladies from the many disco dancing sluts who have been entranced by my tight pants and dance moves and they will show me how sometimes, those "Penthouse" letters are true.
One day... one day.