Oh, that is very simple. I have needs.
I do not think you might understand. I have needs. Needs.
Now, I understand that just about everyone in the world has needs. If nobody had needs, there wouldn't be anybody around, am I right?
Anyway, I realize that there are many women with needs out there, and that is very natural. There are also women with great needs, and those are the sluts and whores I have traditionally been seeking when single. There are also men with great needs, and those are called, well, "men".
Needs can do great things, of course. Needs created "Playboy". Needs created the bikini, and ads for women's underwear in the Sunday newspaper. Needs created porn. Needs even created the Panama Canal. (I bet you didn't know that.)
But Fez has many needs, and in great quantities. They are almost like a ninja, striking anytime and in any place, without even the slightest warning. I am merely a victim of their cruelty. I do not actually wish to have needs when I see a woman bend over to pick up something she has dropped out of her purse, or when a girl is eating a lollipop or banana... or when Donna wears tight shirts or Jackie wears tight trousers or when my girlfriend Caroline smothers me with her breasts until it is difficult to breathe.
No wait, up until the not breathing part, that last one is kind of fun.
Anyway, my needs have ruined my previous relationships. I needed to get past first base with Big Rhonda because I was becoming more than a little frustrated and more than a little tired in my arm because she would not let me. When I foolishly took Casey Kelso's advice, I ended up being strangled and did not get to any bases with her.
With Nina, although she was giving me the sex and the girlfriendness (but mostly the sex), I had many needs and that was too much for her. I know she called me "needy" and said that my needs were not the problem, but I'm not really sure what the difference would be, so I'm sure that I'm right.
I now have a girlfriend again, and she has been good at helping me with my needs. She is pretty and attentive and crazy enough (In a good way! In a good way!!!) to try some of the more... shall we say, ah, "sick and twisted" things I have had in mind. Hopefully, my needs will not ruin this one again.